Informational Writing- Grade 4 - Japanese New Year

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Informational/Opinion Writing
Grade 4 Sample
Japanese New Year's

Feedback for Improvement

Topic:  Japanese New Year
Main Idea #1:  Food
Main Idea #2:  Family
Main Idea #3:  Pictures

What worked:

• Organization:  This piece included an introduction and three main ideas.  However, the essay was incomplete - almost as if the student ran out of time.
  
  
• Main Idea Sentences:  The student includes a main idea sentence for each main idea paragraph written. The main ideas are broad yet distinct.
  
  
• Elaborative Detail and Powerful Vocabulary: Excellent use of the Detail Generating Questions along with powerful word choice: “slow cooked salmon bursting with orange”, “grain was colorless and delicate”, “tender with cubes of tofu”, “warm, delicate broth”.

Feedback with Prescriptive Lesson:

CHOOSE a Focus Skill: What skill will make the biggest impact for this writer?

Introductions:  This piece needs an effective lead. The topic sentence was well written.

• Section 5 Lesson 1: Leads and Topic Sentences
• Section 5 Lesson 2: Writing an Attention-Grabbing Lead

Conclusions: Needs to include a conclusion that sums up the entire piece.

• Section 5 Lessons 7-13

Recommended Resources

• Empowering Writer's Methodology
• Informational & Opinion Writing Guide for Grade 4