---
title: Narrative Writing Sample- Grade 6
description: Learn how to improve student writing by looking at prescriptive feedback and recommended lessons for a narrative student sample from grade 6.
---

[Toolbox ](https://blog.empoweringwriters.com/toolbox)

# [Narrative Writing Sample- Grade 6](https://blog.empoweringwriters.com/toolbox/narrative-writing-sample-grade-6)

 Written by [Toolbox](https://blog.empoweringwriters.com/toolbox/author/toolbox) | Dec 8, 2021 9:23:31 PM

<https://blog.empoweringwriters.com/hubfs/Student%20Samples%20(Images%20and%20PDFs)/Splash.Assessment%20for%20Productive%20Feedback.pdf>  
[(Click image to download sample and feedback)](https://blog.empoweringwriters.com/hubfs/Student%20Samples%20(Images%20and%20PDFs)/Splash.Assessment%20for%20Productive%20Feedback.pdf)

**Narrative Writing  
****Grade 6 Sample  
****Splash!**

**Feedback for Improvement**

**What worked:**

- There is a **sense of story **with a beginning, middle and end. 
- The **word choice** is often high level - *slammed, sprinted, flopped, tranquil, glistened*
- **Entertaining Beginning:** There was a mix of sound, action and thought - the author established the setting - *the pond on a hot day*
- **Elaborative Detail: **There was plenty of elaborative detail - in the second paragraph, the author describes the setting - *“Soon grey clouds filled the sky. Boom crash bang roared the thunder. I felt cool drops of water. We stared at the bubbles then a fish flopped into the air.”*
- **Extended Ending**: The author used a mix of memory, hope and thought. 

**Can you summarize this story? **

*This is a story about ______________.*

*The problem/adventure was _____________.*

*The problem was solved/adventure concluded when ___________.*

 

**Feedback with Prescriptive Lesson:  
****CHOOSE a Focus Skill:**

**Genre and Author’s Purpose:** This story was difficult to summarize. It moved from a beautiful day at the pond to a thunderstorm with no transition. What is this story about? What is the main event? Create a pre-writing plan that effectively summarizes the story so it flows naturally from beginning, to middle and end. 

- Section 1 Lesson 1: Introducing Graphic Organizers with Summarizing Framework
- Section 1 Lesson 9: Annotating Narrative Stories - build foundation for story writing
- Section 1 Lesson 11: Analyzing Assignments for Givens and Variables - creating pre-writing plans

Suspense: There was some evidence of suspense in the word “Suddenly,” however, it would improve the writing to add a magic of three as the thunderstorm rolled in.

- Section 4 Lesson 3: Red Flag Words and Phrases
- Section 4 Lesson 4: The Magic of Three

Main Event: What appears to be the main event is mostly description with some very general action. What was the main event of the story? Once that is established then add a balanced mix of action, description, thoughts/feelings, dialogue, and sound.

- Section 5 Lesson 1: Comparing Summaries
- Section 5 Lesson 2: Main Event

This student will benefit from participating in modeled lessons to develop the middle of the story- both suspense and main event.

Recommended Resources

- [Empowering Writer's Methodology](https://www.empoweringwriters.com/how-to-teach-writing)
- [Narrative Writing Guide for Grade 6](https://store.empoweringwriters.com/collections/narrative-writing-resources/products/the-hub-grade-6-narrative-writing-digital-license-only)<https://store.empoweringwriters.com/collections/grade-3/products/complete-set-editing-revising-and-more-grade-3-digital-guide-with-interactive-student-pages>

## Downloads

 “Splash" Narrative Writing - Grade 6

[View full post](https://blog.empoweringwriters.com/toolbox/narrative-writing-sample-grade-6)

```json
{
  "@context" : "http://schema.org",
  "@type" : "BlogPosting",
  "author" : {
    "@type" : "Person",
    "name" : "Toolbox"
  },
  "dateModified" : "2024-03-11T19:34:25.045Z",
  "datePublished" : "2021-12-08T21:23:31Z",
  "headline" : "Narrative Writing Sample- Grade 6",
  "image" : {
    "@type" : "ImageObject",
    "height" : 1866,
    "url" : "https://f.hubspotusercontent30.net/hubfs/5407189/Splash%20Sample%20Image%20copy.jpg",
    "width" : 1500
  },
  "mainEntityOfPage" : "https://blog.empoweringwriters.com/toolbox/narrative-writing-sample-grade-6",
  "publisher" : {
    "@type" : "Organization",
    "logo" : {
      "@type" : "ImageObject",
      "height" : 60.0,
      "url" : "https://f.hubspotusercontent30.net/hubfs/5407189/Empowering%20Writers%20Logo%20No%20Tagline.svg",
      "width" : 273.76425
    },
    "name" : "Toolbox"
  }
}
```