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Narrative Writing | Student Writing Samples

Personal Experience Narrative Sample- Grade 4- Snowed

Read Time 2 mins | Dec 8, 2021 3:30:06 PM | Written by: Toolbox

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Personal Experience Narrative
Grade 4 Sample
Snowed

Summarizing Framework

This is a story about Danny and me.
The experience was playing in the snow.
The experience concluded when the boys were so cold they went inside.  

What worked:

  • Organization: There is a sense of story with a beginning, middle, and end.
  • Entertaining Beginning:  There is a good action beginning statement.

 

Feedback with Prescriptive Feedback:

CHOOSE a Focus Skill: One skill that will make the biggest impact

For this student, genre and organization needs to be the focus.

Genre and Author’s Purpose:  This story was difficult to summarize because it is a classic list of actions rather than a fully elaborated main event.  What is the main event from the list of actions in the middle of your story?  The story does not begin as close to the main event as possible because the main event is unclear.

  • Section 1 Lesson 1: Introducing Graphic Organizers - Summarizing Framework
  • Section 1 Lesson 8: Annotating Narrative Stories - the organizational structure and features of narrative 
  • Section 1 Lesson 10: Givens and Variables - practice planning focused narrative stories

Elaborative Detail: This student needs modeled lessons in description of setting and feelings.  Elaborative detail is a critical foundational skill that builds the essential parts of the narrative story. 

  • Section 3 Lesson 3: General or Specific?  The awareness level for elaborative detail.
  • Section 3 Lesson 5: Creating Elaborative Segments (modeling is crucial)

Entertaining Beginnings:  

  • Section 2 Lesson 1: Starting Off on the Right Foot
  • Section 2 Lesson 2: Analyze the Beginning
  • Section 2 Lesson 3: Revising Story Beginnings

Main Event:  What is the main event?  Student needs to establish a single, significant event.  Is it the snowball fight?  Is it going sledding?  Is it building an igloo?  Once that is established then add a balanced mix of action, description, thoughts/feeling, dialogue, and sound.

  • Section 5 Lesson 1: Comparing Summaries and Fully Elaborated Main Events
  • Section 5 Lesson 2: Main Event: apply the productive questioning techniques

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Download "Snowed" Personal Experience Narrative - Grade 4 Sample